I don’t know what problems, setbacks or challenges you may be facing right now! Every entrepreneur does face problems, it comes in different colours, sizes and shapes.
“Let the problem go. Just let it go,” I said to him.
“I’ve heard that before, it doesn’t work. I’ve tried it and it doesn’t work. What do you mean let the problem go and I’ll have a better chance of being able to win again? It doesn’t make sense,” he said.
“I know it doesn’t make sense, hear me out though,” I replied.
“I don’t know if I want to. You are just going to say that I need to let the problem go and that doesn’t make sense to me,” he responded.
“Okay, I know that you don’t want to let the problem go, I get that. Let me ask this, how does it feel to hold on to the problem like you are doing right now?” I asked him.
“Painful,” he replied.
I was talking to a guy who was torn up over his business predicaments. Like most entrepreneurs, he had heard the idea of letting it go and he didn’t want to do that. It didn’t make sense to him and the reality was, he didn’t want to let it go. That’s not uncommon.
“So, it’s painful, but you want to feel that pain, right?” I asked him.
“Not really,” he said, “I just want my business back, that’s all.”
It’s a paradox to some, but the reality is, when you hold onto something that isn’t even there anymore – all you are going to get is pain. All your attention and your focus is going to be on the fact that you don’t have the business as usual anymore.
That kind of focus and attention can only bring you pain. And you know what? You are not going to be in a state where you can win your business back on course if all you are feeling is pain.
“See if you can let the setback go for just a few moments, see how it feels,” I said to him.
He let out a sigh and I could tell that he really did let the setbacks go. Not for good, but just for that moment. I wanted him to see how that felt.
“How does it feel right now?” I asked him.
“Better, lighter,” he replied.
“Okay, isn’t that how you want to feel instead of feeling heartbroken or like you are in pain?” I asked him.
“Yeah, but already I am thinking about the problems again,” he replied.
“That’s okay, I just wanted you to see that it can and it does feel better when you let the problem go,” I said.
If all of your thoughts are on something that causes you to feel heartbroken or in pain, try letting it go just for a few moments. If you do this for real and you do allow yourself to let the problems go, even if it is just for a short time like that, you should see that it does feel better and it doesn’t feel as heavy.
When do you think you are more likely to win again – when you are in pain or when you are feeling good?
Most entrepreneurs don’t stand a chance for winning back because they choose to remain in pain. They would rather suffer than feel good. The problem is, and this is where the paradox comes into play, is that by holding onto their problems, they are in pain and thus – less likely to win. Because we often focus more time and attention on the problem and less time on the solution. You need to feel good to think the solution!
Yes, you might have heard it before and not really believed it.
However, if you do this little exercise of letting the problems go, you should see that it does feel better. And you should see that feeling better is going to make it more likely that you will win again.
It may be a paradox, but you do have to let the problems go in some sense in order to get back on track, stop worrying! I am not saying that it is easy. It may not be. But, if you really want to be able to win again, you have to find a way to feel good again and the easiest way to do that is to let go of whatever is making you feel bad or that may be causing the stupor of thoughts.
If you do, then you will be in a position where you do have a chance to think right and to win over and over again. If you don’t, then you probably won’t.